Wanna hear a story? I promise it’s a good one!
Boy meets girl…
SCRATCH THAT!!!! Today is National Coming Out Day, so let’s switch it up a bit…
Boy meets boy. Boy falls hard for boy. Boy marries boy. Boys decide to get a dog. Boys buy a loft in the City and a cozy, little get away out on Fire Island. Boys meet a lovely surrogate and have 2.5 children. Boys live happily ever after.
It’s a tale as old as time that we’ve all been told. But would you be interested in knowing that according to statistics, 85% of relationships end in a break-up. Meaning the norm is actually not the fairy tale we’ve all been taught growing up. The truth is that relationships have become this multimillion-dollar industry involving matchmakers, dating apps, mixers, clubs, bars and reality shows. So if you’re lucky enough to be one of those who end up marrying your high school sweetheart, I wish you nothing but the best… but you is a freak!
If you’re anything like me, you’ve experienced at least one break up in your life. Relationships can kick you in the ass when they end. TRUST ME… I know. I’ve been in three where I had the bottom drop out from under me. You have that moment where you think that life, as you know it, is over. You cry your eyes out. You hope and pray your ex will come back. You think you will never meet someone ever again. In fact, you may even tell your friends never again. And when you do meet someone new, you have this unfounded fear that history will repeat itself.
Stop me if you’ve heard this story before:
Once upon a time, on the Island of Staten, a young boy from the North fell for a boy from the South. Although the word “love” was never used, the boys each considered the other “their first love.” Several months of courtship passed when one day, while at the market, it came forth that the Boy from the South was not only betrothed to a fair lass, but she also bore him a son. The Boy from the North was devastated, and vowed to never see the other boy again. Years had passed before the two boys were to see each other by chance, and since that meeting, have remained in each other’s lives as friends.
Months passed, and the Boy from the North decided to start talking to others through a magic portal called Gay.com. Through his correspondences, he met a stable boy. This stable boy was from a different background as the Boy from the North, and despite their vast differences, the two boys fell in love. In time, the boys decided to build a kingdom together on the Island of Staten. As more time went on, the Boy from the North found out that the Stable Boy had a young maiden from a past relationship. Even though the Boy from the North had vowed to never have children of his own, the idea of settling down and being a parent to this young maiden appealed to him. So in time, the Maiden moved to the Island of Staten as well. The boys eventually married in a small ceremony, and for a period of 8 years, the boys were happy. The Boy from the North even decided to legally take possession of the Maiden.
But things were about to change. You see, as the Boy from the North was blessed with bounds of fortune, the Stable Boy’s luck had waned. The Stable Boy became depressed, and started to look outside the kingdom for solace. He found it in the form of a commoner, and the two fell in love. With many lies and deceptions, the Stable Boy decided to leave the kingdom on the Island of Staten, and months went on before the Boy from the North found out about the clandestine affair. A year after the Stable Boy had left the kingdom, and prior to the legal possession becoming complete, the Maiden left the kingdom as well. And as badly as the Boy from the North felt when the Stable Boy left, the loss of the Maiden almost destroyed him. The Stable Boy and Commoner wed eventually, and the Boy from the North vowed right then and there to never marry or have children again. He even shut down from the idea of finding love.
Years went by, and the Boy from the North finally decided to join a merry group of matchmakers called OkCupid. Through this merry group, he met a compatible prince. They courted for several months before either could say they were in love. The Boy from the North spent a lot of time at the Prince’s castle and among the Royal Family, and attending to the Prince’s needs and desires. In fact, he worked very hard to act the opposite as he had with the Stable Boy, as to not repeat history. The Boy from the North ended up losing himself to the Prince and his kingdom. He believed the Prince was his soul-mate, and they would live happily ever after. This was a first for the Boy from the North.
In time, the Queen’s health faded, and the kingdom had changed. So did things between the Prince and the Boy from the North. The Prince decided one day that he no longer cared to court the Boy from the North, and they parted ways. Many reasons were given, from the Boy’s negativity, to philosophical differences. At the same time, the Boy from the North started dealing with his own failing health. The Boy from the North felt all alone and scared. The Prince, on the other hand, said he had already forgiven himself for what had been done to the Boy.
Months had passed, and the Boy from the North focused on his health and rebuilding his life. He questioned how things could have gone so terribly wrong with the Prince. With time, he came to the realization that a “soul-mate” would never treat a person as he had been treated, and his feelings for the Prince dissipated. But he also began to question the idea of a true love, and if he were to have one of his very own.
The Boy decided with his health back on track and his life moving in a positive direction, he would give the idea of finding love one more chance. He met several suitors, and one day met a knight from a far away land called New Jersey. The chemistry between the Boy and the Knight was unlike any he had experienced before… it was an instant attraction. The boys fell hard for each other, and immediately began a courtship.
SO… I’m sure you’re saying to yourself, Sebastian, what’s the point of this story? And there is a point, I promise. You see... I’m the Boy from the North. And much like anyone else who has been through a terrible break-up, I believed that I would never find my happy ending, or that every relationship would end in the same way as my previous three.
But then I realized that no two relationships are the same. In fact, no two loves are the same. I had a first love, a husband, and even a soul-mate, but what I felt towards each of them didn’t match what I felt for the others. And what I feel for my Knight is unlike anything I had felt for the other three. Dare I say, it was even love at first sight. I know that sounds insane to most people, but I can’t explain it in any better way than that.
And I guess that’s the point of the story. I could have just as easily given up on love, and believed that every guy I ever met will either be a cheater, will cheat on me, or will walk away just like that. But that way of thinking would have left me alone, and would have hindered me from finding my guy, and finding that happy ending.
Will my Knight and I live happily ever after... who can say? That is up to the Knight and I, and where we want to go in life. We have spoken about such subjects as building a kingdom together, becoming betrothed and baring fruit, and both of us have decided that we just want to let life take us where it may, and enjoy the moment we are in.
Because you see, life is not a fairy tale, or a storyline from Once Upon a Time. It is real, and constantly changing. And sometimes, when you stop obsessing over what was, or what will unrealistically be, and start living in the now, life will evolve and present you with your very own “happily ever after.”