Hiya everyone… it’s been a while. And YES, my hair is pink.
I can’t believe it’s already August, and more importantly, I can’t believe that tomorrow, Baztards.com is going to be 3 months old, and has almost 4,500 views. HOW CRAZY IS THAT? Where has the time gone?
Speaking of the website, I apologize for skipping a blog last week, but how do you all like the new look? I wanted to kick it up a notch, and make room for future things, like a podcast and a possible store. I only see things moving onward and upward, and I am so appreciative to all of you for reading the insanity in my head, and looking at all the pictures. Please feel free to contact me if you have any suggestions for future improvements.
I actually have come to really love a lot of the suggestions and ideas brought to me, and as I’ve mentioned in a past blog, ever since I was diagnosed with Hashimoto and Hypothyroidism, and lumps were found on my Lung and Thyroid, I tend to not hold back from trying something new. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? Somebody will say “no,” or it doesn’t work out? I’d rather try something and have it not work out, than look back and go “what if?”
Last week, a mom was joking about how hysterical it would be to have a show where I am set up on all these dates. I have to admit, I kinda liked the idea. Clearly, I have a very crappy dating record, so the idea of possibly meeting my “Prince Charming” appealed to me. This of course led to the age-old question: what kind of guy am I looking for?
Here’s the lowdown on who I am, and what I want:
I actually don’t have a physical type. All three of my exes had a different look. For me, it’s more about the overall package than just the aesthetic. I’ve had guys who were only interested in me for my looks, and it’s beyond stupid. Looks are great, but what do you have to back it up? I want what’s under the hood, because that is what will keep the car running. So be able to have a conversation, and not just about the next big Broadway show, or Judy or Barbara, or Fire Island. I’m Gay, but it’s not my entire world. Also, make me laugh.
I’m looking for someone who is honest, and real, and makes me feel safe. I also expect a certain amount of respect. I want a partnership, where my wants and needs are on the same level as the person I’m with. It’s called a partnership for a reason, and if you are all about yourself, I’m gonna be over you pretty quickly. It’s two people coming together and building a life, not one person melding into the others, and following them around like a Stepford Wife. I want someone who gets that a relationship is work, and I am worth the effort.
I’m more than a one-night stand or hook-up. That’s soooo not my thing. I want monogamy, and I want someone who believes in me. Somebody who sends a text message just to say Hi or Hope your day is going well or Thinking of You. A man who is going to be there, and hold MY hand and will say It’s going to be ok when a relative dies, or when my Hashimoto/Hypothyroidism takes a turn for the worse. Actually, someone who gets that Hashimoto/Hypothyroidism is not a death sentence, and you actually can’t catch it. Not somebody who will run away because it’s not about them.
I have actually joked a lot lately that what I need is a guy who will see all the stuff I’m trying to do now with my website, and for Thyroidism, and for male rape victims, and want to be by my side when they can be, but also will see when I’m exhausted, and tell me to slow down because I’m overextending myself. Basically, I need someone who is going to look out for my best interests, and support all of my dreams and goals, because they are important TO ME!
My only real deal breaker is smoking. I don’t want to kiss someone with cigarette breath. Been there, done that… over it. If you are a grown-up who fits my criteria, or you have a friend that fits that description, feel free to reach out. I promise I’m not as intimidating as I’ve been told. At 134 pounds, what could I possibly do?
Now I’m sure, you are wondering what I have to offer someone. WELL, according to rumors, I’m an international man of espionage. That’s right… apparently, I’m really good at breaking into people’s emails and phones and computers. What can I say? I’M THAT GOOD! I’ve also been told that I have a network of spies that I have asked keep me informed about all my exes (BTW… if you are one of my spies, please let ME know). I also am pretty good at bashing people in my blogs (AGAIN, if anyone can let ME know where I’ve done that, I’d appreciate it). And above all else, I’m a great liar. In fact, I’m lying about having Hashimoto and Hypothyroidism. I’M THAT GOOD OF AN ACTOR!!!!!
In all seriousness, for all the crap people want to allege about me, they will neglect to tell you the truths: I am probably the most sincere and caring person you will ever meet. I am the first one there when needed, and I am the most supportive friend and partner you can get. I will be completely honest with you, even if you don’t want to hear it, and I always look for the best in people. I actually will also push you to be a better version of yourself, because I am the kind of person who will see the potential in you, and want you to be the complete package you truly are. I’m a pretty great judge of character, and a good bullshit detector. I’m a good listener and problem solver. And I love with all that’s in me. I’m a ride or die, balls to the wall friend and boyfriend. That’s just how I roll, and I want the same in return.
Yes, I realize that love has kicked me in the ass, but no man will ever destroy my faith in love, or in my “Happily Ever After.” And I know that what I ask for in a guy is a tall order, but I’m definitely worth it… SO BRING IT!!!
P.S. I may have neglected to mention that the mom that joked about a dating show for me does programming for FOX… Just saying.