What's that expression: Time flies when you're having fun?
Well, when it comes to the world of dating, and more specifically, online dating, the term having fun can be very subjective. In fact, sometimes I feel like dating consists of the stress that comes with having a job interview, mixed with the adrenaline of being a contestant on a game show.
I mean, think about it. How many of you have had extreme anxiety just filling out a dating profile? Trying to figure out the perfect things to say to sell yourself to random men or women, without sounding like an egotistical prick or extreme bore, can be intense. I don't know about any of you, but for me, it's rather difficult to write in fifty words or less a paragraph about who I am, my likes, what I'm looking for in a potential mate and my deal breakers. Yet, here we are, filling this stuff out in the hopes to meet the person of our dreams.
And speaking of the person of our dreams, can we talk about the pool of options these sites seem to have? Believe it or not, I have ventured into the world of online dating three times over the last ten years, and I can honestly say that nothing has changed. NO, SERIOUSLY... Nothing has changed: same exact people, same exact profiles (word for word), and in some cases, the same exact profile pictures. Am I to believe that in ten years time, these people haven't aged at all? Someone PLEASE tell me what their secret is?
And on the off chance that there is somebody new, they tend to "stretch" the truth a bit. You know, shave a few to fifteen years off their life, give themselves a better position of employment, or even post a profile pic that either is from a past decade, or one that is not even them at all. Do they not get that in the age of social media, there's easy access to finding out the truth? And even on the off chance that they don't have a social media presence, the truth will come out when they do meet in person? I don't think dishonesty is the best way to begin a possible relationship. Do you?
So, how am I doing so far? Have I hit upon the kind of people you have seen online yet? Well if I haven't, then you're pretty lucky not to have experienced that. But let's move on to the next part of the process... the ever popular, and ever so awkward, first date. You know, after you speak anywhere from a few hours to a few days, thinking you have so much in common and such a connection, that you decide to finally meet?
Anyone ever get that feeling of nervousness, mixed with excitement, that comes with a first date and all it's possibilities, only to have it tank and go down in flames? Like when you meet someone who sounds so great on paper and through texts, only to find out that you have nothing in common? Or the one who is nothing like their profile? Or the person that is so full of themselves that they come off as arrogant and boring? How about the person who really just wants to hook-up, which is great if that's what you want, but does little when it comes to long-term dating possibilities? I mean, it can definitely be a jungle out there, and sometimes, it can make you want to give up and join a convent.
So, after reading all of the stuff that one can go through when it comes to the world of dating, I'm sure you're wondering why to even bother? Because every once in a while, someone does come along, and all of the stress and insanity that comes with online dating was worth it. Sometimes, if you put in the time and energy, you can actually get your happy ending.
With that said, I'm happy to share that I have met someone. Truth be told, this really isn't major news to anyone who follows me on Instagram or Facebook. In the name of full disclosure, this blog was started back in October, and we met online around the same time. It's been a whirlwind romance to say the least, and it's been going really well.
Now, I know this isn't my first time at the rodeo, and I've been in long-term relationships before. I want to be respectful to those other guys because regardless of how I feel about some of them now, I did at one time or another, love them. And truth be told, some I always will.
But, I can say that this relationship is different than those in the past. I think that timing and age have played a big part in what makes us work. There's a level of maturity, mutual love, respect and compassion that I hadn't experienced before, and a desire to be in each other's lives. He's supportive of BAZTARDS®, my dogs adore him, and he has taken an active interest in my health issues. I know that if the chips were down, I could turn to, and lean on, him. And vice versa. It also helps that as much as we like being with each other, we also have our own separate things going, so neither of us get lost in the other’s identity.
I'm sure it sounds like everything is great, but believe me, things are far from perfect. I would never lie and suggest that they were. Nor would I want them to be, because that's not real. But, I can truly say that at this moment in time, I am really happy. I'm even willing to venture out and say that he is as well.
In fact, for those who do not know, this past week, he asked me to marry him...
And I said yes!!!