Love Me Like You Do

We interrupt this period of silence on Baztards® for this breaking blog…

Today is a very special day in my household. You see, at this very moment, while you are sitting here reading this very blog, Mr. Kozak and I are at City Hall getting married. Yep, that’s right… the big day is finally here, and I couldn’t be happier.

I’m not gonna lie, I have been (and still am) running the gamut of emotions. After all, it’s been a journey leading up to this day. Remember, once upon a time, I was married, and was on the path to marriage with somebody else. So this time around, there were definite moments of will this really happen or what if it all falls apart like before along the way. It’s funny how the ghosts of relationships past come back to rear their ugly heads, even in the happiest of times. It also doesn’t help that I tend to look back at things in moments like this.

I’m not going to sit here and rehash the past, nor do I want to diminish any of my past relationships, because at one point or another, there was love and respect there on my part. And although the endings were the same, I can look back at those relationships now more objectively, and use the lessons learned along the way not to repeat the same mistakes. And I think that has been extremely beneficial in moving my current relationship forward, and keeping it real.

You see, we all have the choice to either dwell in the past and think about what could have been, OR, we can pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and make the choice to move forward. I chose the latter. And today is the proof that I made the right one. Today will go down as one of the happiest days of my life.

There have been many questions along the way. I mean, after all, we’re talking about two guys getting married here. In my opinion, Gay marriage shouldn’t be unchartered territory at this point in time, but I do get the curiosity. I promise I will answer everybody’s questions at some point, but today is about Mr. Kozak and me.

With that said, it’s time for me to go and enjoy the day with my new husband. But before I do, I would love to leave you with my wedding vows:

Mr. Kozak,

 I have to confess something. When we started dating, and Facebook predicted our wedding date (July 14 to be exact), I really didn’t put much of anything into it. But here we are, and I’m not gonna lie… I can’t believe this day is here and this is like actually happening.

 BTW… how do I look? Do the shoes match? If not, you know what shoes would look AMAZING with this outfit? Just saying!!!

 I tend to get nostalgic on days like today. I mean, how can one not look back at what led up to their wedding day? And as I look back, one word comes to mind: Dayenu. I’m pretty sure you have no clue what I’m talking about (I am totally envisioning your face as I type this), but basically, Dayenu is a song sung on Passover, and the word translates to it would have been enough.

 And now, I’m pretty sure you’re wondering what that has to do with us? Well…

 Once upon a time, we met on Zoosk… and it would have been enough

Then, you asked me out… and it would have been enough

Then, we met one morning before work, and hit it off… and it would have been enough

Then, we went on our first official date… and it would have been enough

Then, we kissed… and it would have been enough

Then, you told me you loved me… and it would have been enough

Then you met my boys, and they both liked you… and it would have been enough

Then we spent Halloween together and got food poisoning… and that should have been enough, but it wasn’t

Then, we celebrated our first holidays together and you bought me P!nk tickets… and it would have been enough

Then, we spent New Years Eve bowling in a private room with a stripper pole… and it would have been enough

Then, you bought me shoes… and… well, I’m sorry, that one will NEVER be enough (but I digress)

Then, you proposed (btw, you did good with the ring)… and it would have been enough

Then you helped create the logo for my website… and it would have been enough

Then we moved in together… and it would have been enough

Then you took me to see Donna Summer (sorta)… and it would have been enough

And here we are today, getting married… and it should be enough, but I’m pretty sure there is still more to come.

 I’m not gonna promise a perfect life. After all, this is us, and I’m sure there will be plenty of fights and struggles along the way. But there’s nobody else I would rather fight with and annoy more than you. And let’s be honest, there’s nobody else you would want to fight with and have annoy you more than me.

 As we stand here amongst some of our closest friends and family, I want to thank you for loving me the way you do. You are my rock, my sounding board, my biggest support and greatest fan, and I couldn’t love you any more than I do in this moment. Today, I vow to love you and stand by your side through the good and bad times to come, for richer and for richer (I just wanted to reiterate that one), until the day I get to say “pull the plug” (because we both know you are gonna go first).